On The Subject Of Designer Dorm Rooms
The Bed-In-A Bag Generation sounds off on the designer dorm room trend.
On the subject of designer dorm rooms, y’all have some THOUGHTS. Most everyone finds the trend of professionally-designed dorm rooms pretty gross? It’s not hard to see how we of the Bed-In-A-Bag Generation (or Ralph Lauren Outlet if you were really going for it) struggle to understand this brave new world of showing up to freshman move-in day with a U-Haul filled with brand-new furniture. (And doing what exactly with the school-issued pieces? Are parents shelling out for storage in addition to brand-new furniture?!)
Some of you expressed concerns about waste, having witnessed these dream dorms end up in the dumpster come May. Others wondered whether everything being so perfectly curated kind of misses the point of college? Students have famously been a striving bunch, eating ramen & drinking cheap beer & working hard so they could one day provide something better for themselves. Parents who could afford to give more generously often didn’t, because that was beside the point. A little struggle was part of the journey.
Which connects beautifully, I think, to modern parenting trends (especially Snowplow Parenting), where loving, well-intentioned parents remove obstacles from their children’s paths to minimize their frustration. You can see the throughline here, parents wanting children to feel nurtured in their absence — what better way than installing creature comforts in their living space? You’ll sit in that pink sherpa club chair & know mommy still loves you even though she’s not here right now & can you please call her more often?
And of course, we want our children to feel included. FOMO is le enemy! If everyone else is hiring dorm designers & rush consultants, it’s probably pretty hard to be the parents who buck the trend. (See also: whether to buy your kid a phone, which is the circle of hell I’m currently occupying.)
I appreciated a note of caution from one parent who actually did just drop her daughter off at college: maybe don’t judge until you’ve been there, and I take the point. We are all perfect parents until reality strikes. How many of us intended to raise organic kale-loving toddlers & then ended up surrendering to dino nuggets from Costco?
We are all doing the best we can raising our children in an age that is vastly different than our own. Much as we may wish to be raising Bed-In-A Bag collegians, perhaps that time has passed? (Unless you have boys, so I’ve heard.) I’ll probably end up making my daughter’s dorm room far cuter than mine ever was, but removing school issued furniture (ahem, DESKS FOR STUDYING) is a hill I’m prepared to die on. I’ll be expecting you all to keep me honest when the time comes in just (gulp) six years.