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5.16.16

This Is Not A Photoshoot

morningcoffee

FULL DISCLOSURE: I worked with a photographer on this picture. She’s four.

For a long time I’ve been working on a savage take-down piece about “the cool moms of Instagram” and their annoying flower crowns, and perfectly-styled playrooms, and ridiculously complicated boho braids they SWEAR only took two seconds and you can totally do while breastfeeding and Snapchatting the whole affair.

It felt satisfying to write, a slam book of every Insta mom feed that ever made my eyes roll. Because it IS super annoying to see what are obviously professional photo shoots being trotted out as everyday life.

But I could never make the leap from a funny list of burns to a real thesis. Really, what did I care if some chic stranger with above-average Photoshop proficiency wants to make her life look like an editorial spread? Is it possible I’m just as guilty, albeit with more gingham and smocked dresses than ikat and baby turbans? Instagram has been a game changer, because now every mom’s parties, play dates, and breakfast toast can look magazine-worthy.

So instead of pissing in someone else’s Wheaties (however briefly gratifying that might have been), I want to talk about my promise to you: this is not a photoshoot. This is my family’s real life, the meals we eat, the home we inhabit, the celebrations we host. I take pictures almost exclusively on my iPhone 6 (and I’ll tell you if I ever break out my fancy camera or work with a photographer). Though Instagram is a highlight reel (you don’t want to see burnt cookies or my messy guest bedroom), I’ll never bullshit you. And really, isn’t that a zillion times more entertaining?

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Filed Under: Essays Tagged With: Instagram, Promises

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kate Collins says

    5.19.16 at 8:23 am

    Just so you know, it’s 8 am and I’ve had an artisinal flower crown plucked from sustainable farms and freshly made as the sun rose. I’m also in a flowy white dress that looks affordable but when you double tap my “like it to know it” you will find a link to an extremely expensive dress given to me for free. Instagram, can have it’s drawbacks. It’s very push me pull me to me. I wish to God that I could get off of it more but it is a nice break when home with the kids. My heart will always be with blogs and the real conversation, like with this post.

  2. Christina campbell says

    5.17.16 at 5:51 am

    Yessss!!! She’s back!!!! So excited! I’ve missed you!

    • Heather says

      5.17.16 at 1:12 pm

      You’re the sweetest, Christina. Thank you times a million! xo

  3. Miss Smith says

    5.17.16 at 4:13 am

    Some days I just wish I could be as mad as the BeyHive (??!!) and quit all that avocado toast nonsense, but hey, it sure does help keep things interesting while I’m being a mom. And for the record, my dad made me avocado sandwiches and Toast! (maybe not quite so dressed up, but is it really news??!?). Maybe my dad was a renegade…

    • Heather says

      5.17.16 at 4:32 am

      It’s so many mixed emotions, right? On one hand, I LOVE Instagram. It’s my new magazine, the place where I learn about new brands, source recipes for our family dinners (you KNOW about my Smitten Kitchen problem), and find all my best design ideas. Buuuuut, sometimes I feel a little itchy about the #365grateful and #eleganterrands and all the flower crowns.

      PS, your dad was clearly an avocado toast pioneer ?

  4. Danielle G says

    5.16.16 at 8:49 pm

    I had to Google “ikat,” so I’m not sure what that says about me in terms of target demographic. Tell you what though, Instagram is a Mom’s best friend cuz you can share the everyday, but make it a bit shinier with those snazzy filters. Now that’s what I’m talking about! I wish you the best of luck with your relaunch!

    • Heather says

      5.16.16 at 10:07 pm

      Danielle, I can always count on you for thoughtful commentary, and you’re right: Instagram is absolutely a mom’s best friend, which is why I backed off the ledge from my original post (even if it was really, really funny). Thank you for the well wishes! xo & ITB

  5. Caitlin Donovan says

    5.16.16 at 7:16 pm

    Kudos to everything you’re putting down, because even as a gal who doesn’t have kids yet, I’m picking it up and I’m LOVING IT!

    • Heather says

      5.16.16 at 7:53 pm

      You know, my editorial board (errr, my father-in-law) was wondering who my target demographic was exactly, and I swore to him that people without kids really do read. SO THERE.

      Also, I adore you & thank you for your beyond-generous support. Muah! xoxo

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