With a red carpet awash in pastel princess bride dresses (YAWN), it wasn’t a stellar night for fashion. Our favorite frocks were bright, modern and offered some sophisticated sparkle. (Please GOD don’t say “bling.”) Kerry Washington was magnificent in a coral Miu Miu gown that ever so slightly referenced early-1960′s fashion with a prim bow at the waist. Naomi Watts made yet another fabulous choice with her gunmetal sequined Armani sheath and PERFECT hair and makeup, capping off an entire awards season’s-worth of impeccable styling. (We are still crushing HARD on that black, cap-sleeved, lace Valentino she wore to the Oscar Nominees Luncheon.)
CREEPY.
RIP E! News mani-cam. You were so aware of your utter absurdity that you committed suicide mid-broadcast, if only for the thrill of ruffling little Ryan Seacrest’s feathers. (Those were feathers and not hair, right?)
Poor guy.
Anne Hathaway won; was predictably annoying; nipples joined Twitter.
Seth MacFarlane posing with the only person willing to sleep with him after last night’s Oscars telecast.
Surprising everyone, Annie was not the worst thing about last night’s show; Seth MacFarlane was. From the “We Saw Your Boobs” opener to the thinly-veiled bulimia joke to kidding that Jennifer Aniston was a former exotic dancer and that nine year-old Quvenzhané Wallis would eventually date George Clooney, we found his misogynistic display pretty disgusting. If MacFarlane was trying to be the anti-Tina-and-Amy, ummm, nailed it?
Please. She’s 44, runs on nicotine and margaritas, and hasn’t consumed a carb since the Clinton administration. There is a -79% chance that Jennifer Aniston is harboring a fetus.
Uber-public celebrity pregnancies? Consider us over it. Channing Tatum’s belly bump cupping and Justin Theroux’s attention-whoring “is-she-or-isn’t-she” hand placement have no place on an Oscar red carpet. It’s enough to make us long for the days when famous women hid their pregnancies behind giant handbags.
Jessica Rabbit, er, Chastain.
Another addition to our “over it” list? Old Hollywood glamour. It’s so much more interesting to look like a 21st century movie star than a Veronica Lake impersonator.
“Argo fuck yourself”, indeed.
George Clooney and the rest of the Hollywood cool kids rallied around Ben Affleck following his Best Director snub, bringing home a Best Picture win for “Argo.” Consider us amongst those who were cheering for Affleck’s third directorial effort, which perfectly toed the line between entertaining and substantial. So often the Academy only rewards films that feel “important” (read: snoooooooooore) and neglects that movies are also supposed to be fun to watch. “Argo” as well as “Gone Baby Gone” and “The Town” show that Affleck gets this.
Dear Anne Hathaway: This is how you do self-deprecating charm properly.
With a few “aw shucks” jokes in the press room and a well-timed tumble on her bedspread dress, Jennifer Lawrence won best actress *and* charmed the pants off the entire universe. Her best move now? Disappear. Not a Natalie Portman-style run-off-and-procreate-with-a-French-ballerina disappearance but just a little breathing room for the public to not tire of her, lest she fall victim to that nasty backlash that always seems to follow meteoric rises. We hear Jennifer Aniston knows of a good resort in Cabo…
hi heather,
thank god!! know now what it is all about. wish you were here to fill me in last night
dad asked,”who is that?”, “what is that?” and i just had to say, “if only heather were here 
” — for lots of reasons 
did dear c have here first red carpet?
but what about the pretty lady with george clooney? that was my favorite dress. did i miss something?
must confess i schnoozled towards the end, so didn’t see best actress. still not sure i was wowed by the film, and her role. but then, don’t want to see it again, so i’ll believe those who REALLY know. and then again, there is youtube…….
love, mama
Delighted to receive this comment! Indeed, the Little Lady watched the Oscars along with us (while munching on Cheerio bracelets we’d made earlier). Her favorite moment was when the bear from “Ted” appeared — she screamed “Teddy Bear!” and was visibly disappointed when his bit ended.
To answer your question, George Clooney was accompanied by his girlfriend (and sometime actress and reality television star), Stacy Keibler. We certainly admire the art deco-inspired beading on her Naeem Kahn gown, and that perfect figure doesn’t hurt either
We’re no expert on Oscar voting patterns, but for a savvy take on why Jennifer Lawrence won Best Actress (and it wasn’t necessarily because her performance was best), we recommend LaineyGossip’s piece on the subject: http://www.laineygossip.com/Jennifer-Lawrence-wins-Best-Actress-Oscar-hangs-with-Leonardo-DiCaprio-Bradley-Cooper/26092